Making Memories

This past week my wife and I had the opportunity to see her Brother and his wife.  See, we live in Indiana, and they live in New York.  We don’t get to see them very often; about once a year.  They have a four-year-old daughter named Skylar.  Even though they live far away and we don’t talk as often as we would like, I feel like we remain close to them.  When they arrive, it is a wonderful time spent talking, catching up, and playing games.  We are all rather competitive and the games seem to be a highlight for everyone, especially me.  We all have our favorite things we do, but playing games with friends and family has always been one of mine.

With Skylar growing up fast, it is difficult to really get to know her personality.  The last time I saw her, she was only three.  This means that her memories of my wife and I are probably just some faded idea of some people in her mind.  She most likely doesn’t remember us the way we remember her.  Seeing her this past week  started me thinking about what she is going to remember when she is older.

Make a lasting impression

The best of us do not remember much before the age of four.  It is generally believed that a person is incapable of remembering anything before the age of 4 or 5 when they are adults.  This means that this trip may be one of the earliest memories that Skylar will have of us when she is an adult.  As I ponder the implications of this, I begin to wonder what I did to make a lasting impression in her mind.  I must admit that I can’t really think of anything specific.

Just a week ago, I had my 40th birthday.  I have come to the understanding that I have probably reached the middle of my lifespan.  While I am by no means ready to accept a “downward track” in life, I cannot help but wonder what will my legacy be?  What impact on the world will I leave for future generations?  What will the world look at me and say when I am gone?  Will anyone even care?

Live a legacy

As these thoughts race inside my head together, and separately, I have come to a conclusion.  That conclusion is that I need to do more to make memories and do more to preserve those memories.  If I were to die tomorrow, would Skylar even remember me?  I realized that there are only a handful of pictures that have both Skylar and I in them.  This is largely in part because I am usually the one behind the camera.  This is no excuse!  It is time for me to get out from behind the camera and get into the pictures!  It is time for me to think about ways of making memories.  It is time for me to make a difference in the lives of the people that I care about.  This is not always easy for us as guys.  This can borderline on being “mushy” or “touchy-feely.”  But I believe it is a necessary step for our futures.

I do not want my nieces and nephews growing up not knowing who I am, and that I love them.  I do not want the people in my life to question if I care.  I sometimes think we have become a world that wants to do just enough to not be noticed, but enough to not be thought of as a bad parent/friend/family member.  When did this happen?  When did we become scared of the words, “I love you.”  When did it become wrong or embarrassing to kiss someone in public and say, “I love you.”

Don’t get me wrong, I know that there will come an age when every child will not want to be hugged, and kissed in front of their classmates.  The ridicule from the other kids can be cruel and overwhelming.  That is sad to me.  The reality is that this ridicule is most likely because they are jealous of that affection.  They want to be hugged and kissed by someone in their lives.  I accept that this is the way the world works, and can agree that there are appropriate times to give this affection.  With that said, I challenge each of you to hug a child you are close to today!  Hug your best friend today.  Kiss your spouse right now!  Give them a huge kiss and tell them how much you love them.  Tell them why you love them.  (And guys, a good reason is NOT because you like your wife’s body!)  Tell them you appreciate them.  Tell them why you appreciate them.  Tell them about the joy they bring to your life.  Turn off the TV and set down your smartphone and ask them how their day was.  Listen to their answer.

When you are together with your family and friends, take pictures.  Keep them.  Back them up to the cloud so that when your cell phone goes down you will have them.  Once a month, send your favorite pictures out to your friends.  Upload them to Instagram and Facebook.  Put them in your DIY Time Capsule.

Whatever you do – Make a memory today!

Making Milestone Moments Count,

– Marcie