How to Ask Parents Permission to Marry

How to Ask Parents Permission to Marry

Asking permission to marry

I am not intimidated by too many things in life.  I do not really get “star struck” around celebrities.  I realize that most of us in the human race put our pants on the same way!  There are a few people who I get intimidated by, and a few people who I have a hard time speaking up in front of, but they are few and far between.  I would not say that I was intimidated by my future father-and-mother-in-law, but I felt very weird about calling them and asking them to meet.  Primarily because I knew the subject matter.

I had tried three times that morning to call.  Each time I would pick up the phone and dial part of their number, then hang up.  In years past, I have been an on-stage performer.  The stomach butterflies I was experiencing were similar to what I would experience before getting up in front of my church to sing.  I always have been able to deal with those feelings by pushing through and “just doing it.”  This was not one of those times.

Finally I made the conscience decision that, no matter what, I was going to do it.  I dialed the number.  I held my breath, thinking about what I was going to say to them.  The phone began to ring.  It seemed like an eternity for the phone to ring four times.  Finally, I heard the click on the phone answering and the word, “Hello.”  I let loose like a water balloon that was mostly filled and slipped off the faucet spraying everyone in the room!  “Hi.  It’s Mark, and I would like to meet with you tonight for dinner to have a . . . . .”  Suddenly I realized . . . I had received their voicemail.  Ugh!  I stopped, laughed a little at how uptight I was and left a message asking them to call me.  I also mentioned not to say anything to Marcie about me calling.

Asking parents permission to marry

I was much calmer at that point.  They called me back a few minutes later and I asked if I could take them to dinner that night.  They agreed and we set a place and time.

I was much calmer the rest of the day, but it seemed to drag on forever.  Marcie was busy with school that night, so I did not worry about her finding out.  Her parents lived near her, almost an hour away from me.  As I left work and made the trip to meet them, I rehearsed in my mind what I would say to them.  I knew there could be some push-back from them about the time-frame in which we had known each other.  I knew they liked me, and approved of our relationship, but I also knew that we had not known each other for more than a few months.  This was a big concern.  I worried about them saying, “no.”  It didn’t really matter what the reason would be, a no was a no.  Still, I felt it was important, even though some would say a little old-fashioned, to get her parents permission.

We sat down and had a lovely dinner.  We had some great conversation.  I love talking to them.  They are truly wonderful people.  They truly have a kind spirit that comes from a true relationship with Jesus.  They are great people.  I love talking to them and when her dad and I get going, there is no stopping us!  As our dinner came to a close, I still had not brought up the reason for this dinner.  I finally came to a place where there was a slight lull in the conversation and I said, “well, none of that is why I wanted to have dinner with you.”  They both looked at each other and smiled, like they knew what was going on.  I spent the next few minutes fumbling over and trying to find my words.  It wasn’t coming out like I had rehearsed it on the way there.  Finally, her father looked at me and said, “It’s ok, Mark.  You don’t have to do this.”

I don’t know what it was about that moment, but I remember a weight being lifted off my shoulders.  I smiled back at him and said, “Yes, I do.  This is important to me.”  With the weight and burden of knowing they were behind me, and in my corner, I told them how much I had grown to love Marcie in this short period of time and how I wanted to ask her to marry me.  I asked for their permission and blessing.  They both laughed a little, not being disrespectful at all, and simply told me that they knew what was going on.  They agreed, giving me both their permission and their blessing.  Her dad even offered to provide me “a ladder” in case I decided to come get her in the middle of the night to run off an elope with her.  He was kidding of course, but it made the point that he was completely fine with this.  It made me laugh and feel really good.

I drove home and put the final touches on my plan to ask her.  I had it all planned out.  It was going to happen that weekend.  Most of the plans were in place.  Now, just one more day, and I could make this happen!

Wedding Time Capsule

Asking a girlfriend’s parents or dad for her hand in marriage may seem old fashioned to some. We are all about keeping tradition alive here at The Original Time Capsule company, since that is one of the reasons why the time capsules were created. We want you to preserve your family stories, keep your traditions, and pass them on to your children. There is great wisdom in old stories. For more ideas of how to ask her parents or father for permission to marry, check out http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/15/asking-a-womans-father-for-her-hand-in-marriage/. Ask in a creative way, and pull the engagement ring out of a decorative Wedding Time Capsule from https://www.timecapsule.com/product/milestone-collection-wedding-time-capsule/.

So do you think men should still ask your girlfriend’s parents for hand in marriage? Comment below.

 

Making Milestone Moments Count,

– Mark

www.timecapsule.com